DIRTY TRICKS-Episode 4: Diego VS Shan Yu
by Bloodlustful
Summary: The latest episode, an Ice Age and Mulan crossover(I wanted the category numbers the other way around and will act as if they are here). The Satans have gotten only displeasure, but won't stop trying, so they decide on a battle of two non-meta powerhouses...Ice Age saber Diego and Mulan Hun leader Shan Yu. Will the latter win like they think and hope he will or won't he?


Prepare yourselves, everyone, for the fourth episode in this series has arrived!

It is an Ice Age and Mulan crossover in which Diego takes on Shan Yu!

Just for both a recap of this story and a description of how the above crossover and the confrontation thereof is created and takes place.

Last time we read an episode of this story, it was the third one, in which we saw Tiger Of The Wind from the Monster Rancher Anime, after a long, brutal and bloody fight, defeat and kill Darth Maul from the Star Wars movies, and how the Satans decided they would do similar shit but with non-superpowered individuals.

To be precise, the Ice Age universe would be reached into again, this time to bring out another saber, Soto's younger brother, Diego, and the Mulan universe would be part of it, as well, with villainous bastard Hun leader Shan Yu resurrected as Diego's opponent while both are part of the battle in the basketball court.

The Satans are convinced, given Shan Yu's power level, that even a saber as powerful, fast, smart and adept at fighting as Diego will not be able to beat him, not even when his true self and indeed not being lowballed by creators in any way at all, especially since Shan Yu is very skilled, both with the sword and in unarmed combat, plus is quite smart himself.

So they make sure of it that, as always, everything is well known to them and to the others when Diego is brought into the basketball court in present day New York City and Shan Yu has that happen to him while he's being restored to life, and when once the two powerhouses who are in each other's leagues but in a mixture of the same ways and different ones are made to go at it, the funny thing is that they both have a little something they've thought up in their minds.

It's the same thing…a special, underhanded strategy, one that will only work with the right timing and the right opening, but if both present themselves, it will indeed work, and, while the Satans believe that Shan Yu will win, just like Shan Yu himself but obviously unlike Diego, it can be known that this long lasting, bloody, powerful, brutal and awesome fight that you're going to be reading about will decide whether Shan Yu and the Satans who are rooting for him and convinced he'll win are right while Shan Yu's got Diego dead to rights, or whether they are instead dead wrong as Diego proves it by killing Shan Yu.

This all having been said, along with how Diego and Shan Yu are both full of endless bravery, determination and fighting adeptness, what I'm presenting here will be anything but lopsided in its fight or boring in its fucking execution or any of that other undesirable-ass shit.

That they are virtually on par makes such facts all the truer and this all the greater a read to, well, read as we continue this series of different crossovers in the same storyline.

Okay, so now you've been filled the fuck in, so it's time to move the fuck on to our next of fights, one which is deliberately a non-superpowered echo of the one you read about between Tiger and Maul on my part, but with enough differences so that it isn't a total clone nonetheless.

THINGS TO NOTE:

Neither Ice Age nor Mulan are franchises that belong to me, since I am not part of either of their respective owners, and the song that will have its last copy of chorus be sung at the end of the fight doesn't belong to me, either.

After all, I'm not the musical artist who created it, and I'm not the one who created any version of Satan, the original or otherwise, and as such, the Satan gang does not belong to me any more than any of these characters, the ones I'm using anew or otherwise, or what song I'm putting the end of in here, do.

Just in case anyone here needs a reminder…ICE AGE, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, ENDED AT THE THIRD MOVIE, AND IF YOU LOOK AT THE FIRST EPISODE OF THIS SERIES, YOU'LL KNOW WHY I TELL YOU THIS ONCE MORE.

Sorry, my firmness and strong feelings concerning that got the best of me, and again, that was only for those of you who needed to be reminded of that, just in case there were any.

Okay, that'll do…enjoy the fourth episode that I now proudly present to you!

DIRTY TRICKS

Episode 4: Diego VS Shan Yu

Teed off as could be and indeed piss off as all hell at Tiger's victory over Darth Maul, the Ice Age universe Satan, upon suggesting they spite Soto by bringing his younger brother, Diego, into all of this to be killed by someone who they thought would be able to do just that to him in a battle, Shan Yu from the Mulan universe, to be exact, and the other Satans liked this idea, especially the Mulan universe one, since it meant that they'd be resurrecting a powerful, dark, scary and dangerous villain for part of this.

"Hey, it'll be the opposite of what the hell fucking happened before both in terms of power levels and in terms of outcome." said the Mulan universe Satan. "Neither Shan Yu nor Diego has any superpowers, and however much of a fight the latter might or might not put up, there can't be any way for him to win. Not against Shan Yu."

"The fact that it'll be a nice, big 'fuck you' to that lousy Soto only magnifies the excellence of that choice." said the Ice Age universe Satan, and they got their thing done promptly, making it so that Diego was teleported into this basketball court in the real world New York City while Shan Yu was brought into it at the same time as being brought back to life.

Gaining all the knowledge that they both needed, Diego said: "Holy shit! I did not just get taken from my universe of origin like my shortchanged after victory and problem fixing older brother did!"

"Oh, you did, Diego." Shan Yu told him, "just like I got brought the fuck in here while I was restored to life. My second life begins now, while your first and only life ends. You may be a powerful dynamo and impressive fighter when you aren't being lowballed, and you thus may be at your peak and in your prime like that here in the real world, with all you've got going for you present and at its best, but even at your best, you're no match for me at all. So your defeat will be complete, utter and total, just as I can see myself becoming all of those things right now."

"You are so fucking full of shit, Yu!" Diego snarled. "Though that's hardly a fucking surprise, motherfucker, since you're a fucking asshole! You die for the second and permanent time now, and I don't care how fucking hard you make it or how much fucking damage I fucking take for it! I will win and you will die, losing both the battle and your second and final life!"

"Very defiant and brazen, feline." Shan Yu told Diego. "But you have to know your limitations, and I will teach you them as the final thing you ever learn in life and what thing is to be fucking followed by death."

"Think again, dipshit." Diego spat. "You're going down, no matter how long it takes and no matter what the hell kind of fucking way I motherfucking make that shit fucking happen! You're going down to the floor, lifeless as hell, and if you do have a fucking soul, then it sure as hell will go to hell!"

"Well, someone's very eager to fight, indeed." Shan Yu said. "I'm certainly not hoping to wait for it, either. This will be a shining moment for me, a heart-tearing moment for Soto, a shocking one for him and the other heroes there and, of course, a deadly one for you."

Both had, during their exchange, thought up a fucking strategy apiece, both of which involved finding the first opportunity to act on it that they saw and looking for anything that could even resemble a small amount of an opening for so much as a piece of it along with what they were obviously going to do with or without what the hell they fucking thought the fuck up.

"The fact is," Diego thought to himself, "Shan Yu will not expect what the hell I've goddamn got planned for him as far as how the hell my winning this fucking fight goes, but I need the right things in the right amounts at the right time, so I have to make the fuck sure of it to last long enough for all of that to be the case, because otherwise I'm fucked."

Shan Yu said in his mind: "Though the saber might well be a formidable opponent to many, he would not be that for me even if I had not thought up the strategy I just did. Mind you, it will require a great deal of looking for what time and region to target it is if this it is going to work as I am meaning it to, but there'll undoubtedly be such a moment and such a spot on Diego's body. I just have to wait for when the hell both fucking present themselves, and he's kaput while I am triumphant, though if I screw it up, there's a good chance he'll kill me, instead, if he sees a way to do so despite how there shouldn't be one. So my timing and selection both must be flawless."

The Satans sure as hell(ha, ha)knew that it was go time between these two and so they needed to signal it, what with Diego and Shan Yu all too ready and eager to go for each other's throats and indeed the jugular, figuratively as much as literally.

Thus, it was not half a second after the Satans all said together: "FIGHT!" that Diego and Shan Yu did just that.

It would start with Diego jumping backwards a bit in order to startle Shan Yu, rather than go forward and attack as the latter would expect, and immediately afterwards, Diego did a lunging attack that involved a backhand swipe of both of his forelegs and forepaws, making it so that six long cuts were made on Shan Yu's torso.

"AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!" Shan Yu screamed, and although Diego was as ready for Shan Yu as Shan Yu was for him, this didn't make it hurt any less when Shan Yu hit Diego with a backhand punch in retaliation and boomed: "I'll gut you from groin to gullet for that!"

Acting fast, Diego punched Shan Yu across the left side of face and then, with the right foreleg that wasn't being used for that punch, he grabbed Shan Yu's right wrist, since his foe was holding his sword in his right hand, and squeezed as hard as he could, saying: "Not without your sword, you won't!"

Shan Yu, despite how Diego also did a backhand punch with his left forepaw, to which he went: "OOOOOOOOOOOFFFF!" managed to keep a grip on his sword and kick Diego in the underside after doing enough of a shaking and thrusting of his body to make the saber lose his grip.

"ULLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFF!" Diego went, and Shan Yu told him while raising his sword as he fell over: "But I am not without my sword, and I will now do exactly as I fucking said I would."

Diego, acting on instinct, rolled away as much as he could, knowing that, if it weren't for how big and powerful a saber is and therefore how big and powerful he was, he would not be able to withstand Shan Yu's blows at all, let alone enough to keep on fighting, and even so, he was barely able to.

Still, it proved possible, and he avoided the bulk of Shan Yu's cut, so that rather than being killed or fatally wounded like Shan Yu intended, Diego was only given a slash on his back, thanks to how the top of it was not yet out of the way when Shan Yu's sword came down, and, while it hurt, it wasn't sufficient to make him unable to keep going, as he could perfectly well ignore the pain of the damage from that sword and the slash it delivered.

"You've managed to save yourself, I see. But it will do you no good for shit in the long run, as no matter how long it takes and no matter how much harm you may inflict on me, I will find a way to kill you and act on that way!" Shan Yu stated as he came over to where Diego was just as the latter had gotten up, and received a smashing of both of Diego's forepaws onto the sides of his head, along with Diego doing the same thing again, only this time with his forepaws balled into fists.

"UUUUUUUNNNNNNNHHHHHH! UUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!" Shan Yu shouted, and Diego said: "You were saying, Yu?"

Shan Yu kicked Diego in the side and then threw him to the floor so that he was away from him to some extent, but not far away, right before telling him: "I was saying that I would see to your death one way or the other. Which is exactly what I am going to do now."

"UUUUUUUUUUNNNNGGGHHHFFF! WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAGGHH!" had come out of Diego when Shan Yu had delivered these hits to him, but when he saw Shan Yu coming for him, Diego did the first thing he could think of, able to tell he had enough saliva to do so…he spat in Shan Yu's face, with a mixture of said saliva and, due to what hits he'd taken from the villain, a small amount of blood.

Able to push himself up just enough to do the deed despite the pain and haze he was in, it was when Shan Yu had gotten close enough to kill him with his sword and was just about to do so that Diego managed to splatter the blood and saliva mixture into the Hun leader's face, and this resulted in Shan Yu going: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" and dropping his sword as he struggled with how the fuck Diego had now blinded him and made it so that he had to get some of the disgusting liquid from Diego's mouth off of him if he was going to be able to keep up with the battle.

Taking advantage of how well his spitting attack had worked, Diego quickly ran over to where Shan Yu had dropped his sword, took a hold of it and slung it away towards where the now appalled and astonished Satans were.

Subsequently, he was able to swing around and nail Shan Yu in the back with his right forepaw, and he also jumped onto him to tackle him to the ground and smash his face into the floor repeatedly after grabbing his hair.

But Shan Yu was not going to give up that easily, which he proved by, after Diego said: "Thought you fucking had me there, didn't you, motherfucker? Well, now I've goddamn got your ass on the fucking ropes!" rolling over and making sure to push himself good and hard against the saber so that, by the time Diego was able to get up again, Shan Yu would already be standing up, and sure enough, even though Shan Yu had to clear his head for a moment, and as such Diego was standing again along with him and just as ready to continue the battle as he was by the time Shan Yu was indeed ready again, he had still succeeded in his intention.

"Not anymore." Shan Yu said before he went over and kicked Diego in the underside, and right after the saber went: "OOOOOOOUUUUUMMMMMMFFFFFF!" he pulled him up and grabbed his face hard in an obvious intent to crush it, also grabbing Diego's left foreleg so that he couldn't use it to fight back, though Diego then did something he didn't count on.

Which was to rake the claws on his right foreleg's paw down the side of Shan Yu's head and neck good and hard, and also use the paw itself to nail him in the center of the neck, using what little he could do to struggle enough so that his head moved as so he could tell where those regions were with that and where his right upper body went despite how the hell he couldn't see at the moment.

It worked in allowing him these things, and while Shan Yu bellowed: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!" from it, Diego quickly jumped back as so to strangle Shan Yu after seeing through the blur he was in adequately(though only barely)to spot his neck where it actually was.

And of course to free himself enough so that he could see clearly again while doing so, and Shan Yu's going: "GGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" and his hearing it meant that his ever present persistence was now, if possible, risen higher than before, and if so, that's saying something.

Shan Yu, however, counterattacked by pushing himself forward just enough to strangle Diego back after he reached out hard, found Diego's throat and managed to get a grip on it with his hands, and Diego, realizing he had to let go despite making sure he kept up putting everything he had into strangling Shan Yu when said realization came, let go of him, though he sliced him down the other side of the neck, only to find himself nailed by an uppercut from Shan Yu in the chin, which, again, if not for the powerful qualities that came with being a saber, would have killed him, in this case by taking his head off, though he was stunned(the conscious, still standing version of it, mind you)as he did all he could not to fall over and moved about to try and clear his head.

He succeeded, but by the time it happened, Shan Yu had been bought enough, well, time to run over and get his sword back so that he could next come at Diego with it, and even as Diego was able to see and think clearly once more when he saw Shan Yu coming back to where he was, sword in hand and everything, he knew that he needed to once more battle in the manner he did prior to disarming Shan Yu before, so he leapt back some so that he'd have enough time to prepare himself for that.

As he did so, Shan Yu angrily said to him: "You enrage me with your refusal to yield, Diego. You just won't stop. Nor will you accept the inevitable, namely, your fucking fate in that I will cut you up into sabertooth casserole, which should have been done well before now. Damn it, fangs, you'll never give in. Granted, I would never do any such pathetic things as the ones that I've mentioned, either, but unlike me, you are as ill-fated here as I was in my first life when I was killed by that rocket and that bunch of fireworks courtesy of Mulan and her dragon friend Mushu. I am sending you to hell, furball, and all you are doing is putting off your death for the time it takes you to become too worn down to further defend yourself. Why not just give up now and spare yourself a lot of further pain and me a great deal of further frustration?"

"That'll happen when hell fucking freezes over, asshole." Diego barked, and when Shan Yu was, as he saw, about to swing his sword, he jumped aside so that what was meant to horizontally cut him in half simply opened a long wound on the center, though not the frontal or back, of his left side with its point.

It was also nothing he couldn't ignore, and neither was how his other side got the same treatment when he, after doing a small jump forwards to slash Shan Yu's right thigh with his claws, despite how the latter saw it and jumped back as so to make it so that the wounds would be nothing he couldn't ignore or anything that could stop him from still using that right leg, did the same kind of jump he'd done before to, ironically, the opposite side of where he'd done that jump, well, before.

Shan Yu's left thigh received the same treatment from Diego's claws after that, but the one it was part of once more jumped back enough so that, even with this new set of thigh wounds, it was still perfectly possible for him to use both of his legs and indeed he did just that, with both of them going: "E-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" during the time that they inflicted these cuts on each other despite how they evaded the bulk of them and also eluded what they were intent on doing to the one who received those slashes.

Once this had all happened, Diego lunged forward and pounced on Shan Yu, knocking him to the floor and strangling him while also making sure the back of his head would bang against that same floor as he pulled it up and down, but Shan Yu managed to put both of his hands on his sword's handle, having not dropped it this him, and slam it onto Diego's back, with the latter going: "OOOWWWGGGHHH!" and, knowing what the hell Shan Yu planned to do with it next, landed an uppercut punch on his chin and bit his nose, then pushed himself up off of him as much as he could before, albeit by freak chance, Shan Yu managed to hit him atop the head with the sword's handle, though Diego wasn't in quite as much of a haze as he would have been if not so ready for it, and Shan Yu was in an even bigger haze, with Diego soon enough at least able to see how to throw him as far away as he could, and he did just that.

After Shan Yu landed hard, Diego knew that he needed to get as much breath in him and energy back as possible, and while he was able to get a lot of both, he also was smart to keep his eyes on Shan Yu and indeed stay focused for anything and everything that might happen, and the villain, since Diego's bite was brief and only damaged the exterior sides of his nose instead of, well, biting it clean off due to how Diego didn't have time for that much of a bite under the circumstances he did, plus how the uppercut to his chin and throw were both quite effective, but the time Diego bought himself afterwards in so doing these things was just enough to get the massive amount of oxygen and stamina into him that he did, was now getting up.

"Still so fucking relentless, cat? Even after all this fucking time and all that fucking damage you fucking took from me?" Shan Yu asked Diego most lividly as he got himself into position while once more prepared to further attack for what battle he was in with aforementioned Diego and the continuation thereof.

Diego ran up to him, though in a sharply focused, "making sure of the best timing" kind of way, and replied: "Yeah, because it'll be a cold day in hell before I fucking call it quits, especially in battle against a motherfucking monster motherfucker like you."

Shan Yu tried to cut off Diego's head with his sword while just as on guard and keeping watch for anything as Diego was, and indeed his level of paying attention was every bit as high as Diego's, but Diego, seeing it coming as Shan Yu had raised it to the side once he was close enough, could tell Shan Yu's intentions and thus dropped to the group while going as backwards as he could both horizontally and vertically, his impressive speed playing quite the hand in it, and the left side of the top of Shan Yu's sword(the diagonal one just below the tip, to be exact)did make a cut on the central, almost upper region of his chest, but it wasn't enough to put Diego out of the fight despite how, like Diego's other wounds, it hurt a lot.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Diego said, but he made sure to roll away from Shan Yu some after he hit the floor, pushing himself hard with his forepaws with all his might the instant he made contact with it due to thinking of that and readying those forepaws with it while he started going down to the floor, being sure to lie down on his stomach after he was no longer rolling so that he would see his opponent and push himself the fuck up to fight the fuck on.

"I never thought that I could ever be this fucking furious." Shan Yu snarled as his surprise at what Diego had just done and seeing what he did right after that ended and his walking over to Diego began, though when it did, Diego was standing on all fours again, thanks to his speed playing a hand in helping him once more, and this time his strength did so, as well.

Of course his large amount of regained stamina also aided him along with his ever so iron determination, and Shan Yu continued: "Your being this fucking determined makes it only too clear that you are truly the Soto to my Thrax, and the Tiger Of The Wind to my Darth Maul, as well. And, though the former revolves around you more, given that you are Soto's younger brother, both are on equal levels as far as a fight that should have been over a lot sooner with the villain as the victor is fucking concerned."

"Guess life is just so fucking full of surprises, you bastard." Diego retorted before he saw that Shan Yu was about to try and use his sword to literally cut his life short once more, so he did a giant leap just as it came down that both got him a small distance away from where Shan Yu's sword would go(since he only had time to go that small amount of distance if said leap was going to have the desired result)and made the fuck sure of it that only the diagonal side of the top of the sword below the point, this time the right one instead of the left one, would make contact, though the way in which he leapt, the only option he had for something that was sure to save his life and suffice for allowing him to still not be defeated, saw to it that the wound was a long one and down the center of his belly vertically, and the pain he was in worsened, which is quite a statement.

"Give up, Diego." Shan Yu barked as he saw that his feline adversary had once more escaped being killed despite not being able to fully dodge the sword swing he'd meant to kill him with and turned around to fucking see Diego land. "I have already been very direct about the fact that you are only prolonging that which you cannot avoid, which is dying most horribly. The fact that you have insulted me during all of this will make sure of it that I will torture you to death by taking you apart, piece by defiant, insolent piece."

"Fuck you, motherfucker." Diego shot back, his attempts to ignore the increased pain just enough to suffice. "Maybe you fucking thought that I was just shitting your ass when I said those low-ass temperature kind of hell related things. But I don't fucking do shit like that. You should have been able to fucking tell what the hell I motherfucking meant before with the first one of those fucking statements, the way that we're both accustomed to snow, cold, ice and the like more than most felines and humans."

"Then this is where the hell I fucking prove you dead wrong, beast." Shan Yu informed Diego, but Diego leapt forward to startle his Hun leader enemy. doing so just as the villain finished his sentence and thus a second before he got a chance to back up what he told the saber, and sliced him down the entirety of his frontal torso with all six of his front claws, and he punched Shan Yu in the guts after that, causing an: "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! UUUUUFFFFFFFFF!" to be elicited from his opponent, succeeding what he just, well, succeeded in doing by grabbing both of his wrists and squeezing as hard as he could, also doing as much pushing to opposite directions of them as possible.

He was also trying to cause Shan Yu to drop his sword again, telling him while he did all of this: "Beast, huh? HA! That's pretty damn rich, coming from you, Yu."

Thinking up what the hell he'd do fast if Shan Yu managed to get his wrists free from his vise-like grasp, especially if his foe managed to keep a grip on his sword this time, Shan Yu said to him: "You're trying that attack with both wrists now, I see. Well, you're not going to make me drop my sword this time, fool, nor will you manage to make this latest, and last, of your moves work!"

Attacking at once after Shan Yu got his wrists free, Diego smashed both of his fists onto the sides of Shan Yu's head, and then he did the same thing with open paws, also slashing the top of Shan Yu's head with his claws before bringing both of his fists down on the top of Shan Yu's skull, as well, but despite how, ironically, Shan Yu now dropped his sword again, the latter was able to use Diego's own trick against him despite how he now saw a bit of a blur by clapping open hands on the sides of Diego's head, doing the same damn thing with his fists, doing a two-fisted punch atop Diego's head and regaining his sword, the fact that he was still seeing something of a blur along with how Diego now was seeing things just as fuzzily notwithstanding.

Staggering about and doing all that they could not to stumble, almost as if they were drunk as hell, it wasn't long before they could tell exactly where the hell the other was, even though it wasn't at a time when they fully stopped seeing things foggily, quite ironically enough on both counts, and so Diego ran over while Shan Yu regained his sword, grabbing his shoulders hard to the point where his claws dug into them swiftly and doing a headbutt that hit Shan Yu in the nose, although the latter backed away a bit so that, while it would still hurt and inflict some harm, that headbutt would not break his nose.

Diego, aware of how Shan Yu still got his sword back, even as his shoulder claw digging grip and headbutt robbed him of the chance to use it, which was ironic since he did not drop it at all during Diego's onslaught, with or without how they were still seeing some blurriness, dove downwards to the side in order to make it so that Shan Yu's sword was able to slice its whole blade across his belly side, but just another painful but still not disabling wound was the result of said slashing.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN…" Diego thought to himself as he winced a bit, but he could cope with it, even though it still hurt and accompanied what else was causing him pain, in addition to how Shan you, who was going: "UUUUUUUUUUUUUHHH…" from his own newfound pain, wasn't unable to endure it nevertheless and endure it he did.

When they were all but out of their hazes, Shan Yu growled: "Damn you, Diego, don't you ever die? Don't you ever run out of ways to escape what should have killed you brutally?"

"Of course not, Yu!" Diego answered. "It's one of the fucking reasons as to why the hell I'll fucking kill you brutally, instead!"

Diego, having produced enough saliva to do his spitting attack once more, and seeing that his haze was gone, both metaphorically and literally, much like Shan Yu did about his own, used his speed and fleet-footed running ability to get close enough to Shan Yu to spit at him with that saliva and blood mixture once more, getting it good and ready to do its job while moving towards his enemy, but Shan Yu, seeing Diego starting to unleash his blood and saliva blend at him once more, threw up his sword to shield himself from it.

"No, you overgrown tick residence. You will not do THAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!" Shan Yu began as he stopped the blood and spit mix projectile from Diego's mouth with his trademark sword, but Diego's seeing him move up his sword to block it made it so that the sabertooth quickly thought up a way to improvise and used his gift of fast movement to run over to the side of Shan Yu's left arm and slash it with his claws.

"I will not do that to you again?" Diego asked. "Is that what the fuck you were goddamn going to fucking say to me? Well, so the fuck what? I'll just cut your arm and make it so that you can't use that sword as effectively as you'd be able to otherwise as an alternative approach!"

He also bit off Shan Yu's left ear, but the evil powerhouse, despite this and yelling: "E-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!" from the agony, managed to swing his sword so that, despite his injured arm, both of his hands allowed him to slash Diego across his other belly side with the opposite side of the entire blade, but knowing that his cutting of one of Shan Yu's arms would not automatically mean he wouldn't be able to use his sword, Diego jumped aside so that this other belly side wound was no worse than the previous one.

Still, he did go: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" and come to see that he could only take so much more punishment before he would be unable not to succumb to what the hell Shan Yu fucking did to him, so he also knew that he had to find an opening to put Shan Yu the fuck down into hell fast.

"You think to fucking bite off one of my fucking ears, asshole?!" Shan Yu barked. "Then I will fucking start my killing of you by slicing off both of your own!"

"Not on your fucking life and certainly not on mine, you oversized piece of shit!" Diego spat back as he circled Shan Yu to lessen the chances of the latter seeing an opening to attack him, though obviously from far enough away so that this proved possible, and while he was able to move fast enough so that Shan Yu's attempt to headbutt him in the nose and then slice that nose open in order to create a mortal wound was reduced to some non-nose breaking damage and pain and a simple almost serious cut on his nose, this being when, ironically, Shan Yu did see an opening despite how Diego's actions made it so that it took him quite a while, he continued to be running out of what he'd need to win the fight and maintain his existence.

So, following his leaping back twice and that being what allowed him to endure what he got from his really tortured but not in serious condition, albeit, as I said before, almost in serious condition, kind of injured nose because of that, the way that if he hadn't jumped back twice, he'd be a goner thanks to the damage and bleeding, Diego's toughness allowed both that endurance and the ability to leap back even further and turn around to make it so that, once Shan Yu ran up to try and further attack him, he could and did perform a one-two kick into Shan Yu's frontal torso, first his belly and then his chest.

"UUUUUNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGHHHH…" Diego thought to himself, barely managing to keep his groaning from the pain under control, while Shan Yu went: "OOOOOF! UNNNNHHHH!" thanks to Diego's kicks.

Diego received a sudden squeeze and pull of his tail thanks to Shan Yu, though, and in spite of how he saw his shadow in time so that he could leap forward fast enough so that he escaped Shan Yu's grip before he could become full and thus said grip and yank combo didn't hurt as much and instead still hurt but simply damaged his tail some rather than ripping it off like Shan Yu intended, he was barely able to duck under Shan Yu's sword swinging in time so that he dodged it, this also thanks to how he fucking saw his shadow and what the hell the Hun leader was doing, with that sword's owner booming: "This is the end of the fucking line for your ass, you disgusting feline fool!"

"Bullshit, asshole!" Diego snapped back, dropping to the floor and rolling as so to knock Shan Yu over just after he said this, and when the latter fell onto his face and went: "UUUUNNNNNHHHHHHHHH!" while dropping his sword, Diego leapt onto his back and delivered considerable damage and once more grabbed the sword and tossed it far away from Shan Yu just after he landed onto that back and caused that massive amount of harm, but although Shan Yu did go: "AAAAAAAAARRRHHHH!" from it, he rolled over and pushed Diego off of him at the same damn time, then, as he got up, having pushed Diego hard enough so that the cat had to walk back swiftly on all four feet in order not to fall onto his side, went on over just as Diego was standing straight again, pulled him up with both hands and put him in a crushing embrace of his arms.

After all, he was close enough to do so, and if he went for his sword, Diego would have either pounced on him or run over to claw and/or bite him and as such deal further damage, the way that he was standing up just a few seconds before Diego was standing in a straight and balanced way again, and Diego was tight against his foe's torso, with Shan Yu's attack being half painful due to his left arm wounds, but still plenty effective.

"You need to admit to and accept your fucking fate, Diego. You were never going to win or even survive this fucking clash of ours. All you've done is keep your demise at bay for a far longer time than one would fucking expect or fucking think the least bit possible. But now I am crushing the fucking life the fuck out of you, as this time I force you to hold stock still so that I can finally fucking kill you." Shan Yu said to him.

"UUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! HE'S CRUSHING ME!" Diego thought to himself, but then remembered what the hell he did to Shan Yu's left arm, and quickly capitalized on the fact that both of his forelegs were free in spite of how he was otherwise trapped, and despite how, again, if it weren't for the level of power than came with being a saber and how he hurt Shan Yu bad along with it being vice versa, he'd never have survived Shan Yu's current grip at all for so much as a second.

He also added onto his strategy as part of what he'd do to turn the tables by going limp and seeming to die, with Shan Yu going, believing himself victorious: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Finally! I hate how it took this long, but I've beaten and killed Diego at last!"

But just as his grip was starting to loosen, Diego sprung his attack the instant that Shan Yu's arms were loose enough for him to do so, making Shan Yu go as he saw Diego open his eyes and smash him across the jaw: "WHAT THE FUUUUUUNNNNGGGHHHHHH!"

Using his right forepaw's claws after he used his left forepaw as a fist for that punch, he slashed Shan Yu's right arm open with the claws thereon, and Shan Yu's grip further loosened as the one the arm belonged to screamed: "AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!" and Diego smashed his left foreleg into Shan Yu's neck, causing him to become short of breath in spite of how Shan Yu's power level made it so that his throat was badly damaged, but not ruptured or anything else that would make it so that he wouldn't be able to recover from it and breathe again in a few moments or so.

Biting off Shan Yu's nose after that both to put him in too much pain to focus on anything else and to be able to get running about six feet away from him in order to breathe in as much of what he needed for what strategy he looked for an opportunity for and how could build his way up to having said opportunity, since Shan Yu was now in a bad haze due to that other ear being bitten off combining with his previous injuries proving enough to pass the limit even of his pain tolerance, and so was open for him to do that for the first and only time in this fight, as Diego very well knew, the saber did exactly this while keeping a close eye on his reeling but still not yet beaten opponent.

Of course, he had to fucking ignore Shan Yu's screams of unbelievable agony, which really did hurt his fucking ears, but he motherfucking managed to do so, finding it pretty damn ironic that this would be so, the way that his fucking strategy involved doing this sort of shit to Shan Yu, as you'll soon see and therefore understand how so.

After saying to himself silently(read: in his head): "This is it. I either pull this fucking stunt at once or, since Shan Yu, given the time to get enough back for it, can still be lethal as hell and will be if he gets that time, I virtually sign my own fucking death warrant, with how the fuck I won't have another chance to take in this much breath and energy. No contest here." Diego ran up to his opponent and pushed Shan Yu forwards via both of his paws on the villain's back and let loose a giant, booming roar, said roaring being one that was as loud as he could motherfucking make it, and although this was the case with everyone present in the basketball court, Shan Yu got the worst of it and indeed his hands shot right the fuck to his remaining ear and where the one that Diego bit off used to be, though the latter purely on instinct, as he kept on screaming: "E-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" like had been the case from the moment Diego sliced into his right arm and then dealt out more damage on, and was now in a sound-induced haze along with a pain induced one.

Although Diego hated causing this horrid assault on the ears of Rita, Gloria, Tiger and his older brother, it had to be done to guarantee his next attacks would score him that victory and grant him survival, plus he loved how it caused the Satans to have their ears assaulted along with Shan Yu's hearing getting that same damn assailment treatment.

It is well worth noting that, as Diego pulled the trigger on Shan Yu in terms of what the hell kind of fucking strategy he thought up, the following ending chorus of a song was playing during it all, even though no one could hear it and it was not going to become something that could be heard, although you'll be reading one or more parts of it between paragraphs.

 _I won't back down!_

 _I will not bow!_

Putting the rest of his idea into action at once, Diego ran over, pulled Shan Yu's hair backwards hard with one paw and slashed his throat with the claws on the other, also reaching into his neck and pulling out his windpipe, esophagus, vocal cords and the aforementioned throat alike, and he subsequently bit his ass, ripping it open with his fangs and pulled his head backwards so that much of its flesh would be torn off and go flying off after he opened his mouth again.

 _I've come to bring you hell!_

Shan Yu was unable to scream, though you could tell by the look on his face that he would be screaming if Diego had not removed his vocal cords, windpipe and throat along with that esophagus of his, and that same Diego ran on over as so to sink his fangs into the reeling Shan Yu's belly, subsequently pulling his head backwards as so to rake them across and through that abdomen and cause all of his digestive organs to come out.

 _I can't forget things you did!_

 _I've come to bring you hell!_

 _I've come to bring you hell!_

Shan Yu's blood flooded the region of the basketball court that he and Diego were fighting on, or actually, HAD been fighting on, and as Diego also ripped out Shan Yu's lungs with his claws and pushed him backwards as so to rip out his heart(what there was of it), he also capitalized on how Shan Yu was falling over while being unable not to have outspread legs with what Diego had done to him and what it meant by biting off his cock and balls, and then spitting it out to the side.

 _I've come to bring you hell!_

 _I've come to bring you hell!_

 _I've come to bring you hell!_

Finally, just as Shan Yu's life drained out of him, Diego bit off his other ear and slashed him across the face so that said ear removal bite and facial clawing was the last thing that Shan Yu would ever feel, and now Shan Yu lay dead as a fucked-up corpse, and while Diego was now exhausted to the point where he had to fall over and lie on his side while barely conscious, it was well worth it to him, having achieved such a difficultly-earned winning of a fight as this.

 _I've come to bring you hell!_

After a few minutes, during which everyone could now hear clearly again after regaining that ability and were looking at what Diego had done with considerable alarm, though there were plenty of variations present, depending on who was who and their reaction to this and why said reaction was so, Diego could speak again despite still not being able to stand up again.

And the words he uttered consisted of: "So, Yu, it would seem that I bleed you dry and hate your guts, all while making you feel so damn gutted. That, and I'm surprised to see that you have a heart, all things considered, asshole. Things sure as hell did get hairy, the way I was so cutthroat to you and my capabilities came back to bite you in the ass despite how you briefly got the advantage over me, at which point I knew it was time to pull the trick I'd planned. But hey, in the end, I just proved so very clearly that it bites to be you. Doesn't that just cut you deep? Well, nice hearing from you, motherfucker."

Tiger, Rita, Gloria and, of course, Soto, were all about to congratulate Diego, but before they could, Diego heard the Mulan universe Satan bellow: "NO! THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE! IT'S JUST LIKE HOW DARTH MAUL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO FUCKING KILL TIGER, BUT INSTEAD HE ENDED UP BEING KILLED BY THE HOWLER HORROR, AND NOW SHAN YU, WHO SURELY WOULD HAVE WON AND KILLED YOU, DIEGO, IS INSTEAD THE ONE YOU KILLED! WE CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH OUR FUCKING BLOOD IS BOILING! IT MAKES THE HELL'S FROM WHICH WE COME LOOK LIKE FROZEN WASTELANDS WITH THE WAY IT IS RIGHT NOW, IN FACT!"

"Wow, you guys sure as hell are ones to goddamn get the fuck ahead of yourselves!" Diego snapped as he was, clearly seen by everyone who wasn't dead in this now more blood drenched than ever basketball court, covered in Shan Yu's blood on his forelegs, forepaws and the claws on the latter(of course)and on his upper chest, neck, lower face and teeth, big fangs or otherwise(again, of course), as well.

"NYEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Ice Age universe Satan thundered, and after Diego said: "But to hell with the fucking focus on that stupid shit. Now, with a single roar, I make it so that, with my chance to do with my Ice Age universe as I will, I'll have it so that it provides everyone in this world with all the fucking knowledge they'll need, fictional and real alike, concerning the fucking facts about me or otherwise, just as you guys goddamn gave all of us the fucking knowledge that we needed for our fucking fights and will doubtless continue to goddamn do with whatever other fights will fucking happen. That roar occurs THIS INSTANT!"

Indeed Diego, having taken in a sufficient amount of air and having gotten back just enough energy to do what he said he would during the time he said that and everything else he did, now roared as loud as he possibly could once more, though given his worn down, injured state, it caused some going fetal for everyone, but it wasn't nearly as much of an assault on everyone's ears as it had been when he still had the amount he did in him for killing Shan Yu via executing his sneak attack that allowed him to do so.

The deed was done, but the Ice Age universe Satan said: "Way to go, Diego! Now you've made it so that you get the same fucking punishment as your big brother over there, the way that you're now fucking shut the fuck out of your universe for all time and will spend the rest of your life in this one now, before and after you've fully recovered!"

Diego's eyes flew open very widely, indeed, and after he got enough breath and energy back while looking stoic and statue-like for a time for it to qualify as plenty of both, he made his shock, fury, displeasure and hostility blatantly clear to the Satan squad.

"YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?!" Diego snarled. "I fucking won and did things as I did them, fair and square! So now you decide to shut me, and before that, Soto, out of our universe of creation forever and irreversibly just because we fucking won when you fucking wanted us to lose? Just like how you fucking did that shit to these others, even Gloria, who'd been unconscious the whole time that Rita had beaten her and during Tiger's fucking battle, and so didn't even know about your doing it to the two of them? Only because you wanted her to flatten Rita and instead saw Rita win in the only way that could possibly happen? FUCK YOU! I shouldn't be fucking surprised that you'd all be like this, the way that you're all different-ass versions of the fucking devil, but I just can't fucking help it! Not with this sort of fucking bullshit being fucking performed by you lot! Up yours, you disgraceful bunch of jackass prick licking motherfuckers!"

"And your giant barrage string of insults there just made doubly sure of it that you're here for keeps, Diego!" the Mulan universe Satan said, adding on: "Wow, they never fail to have it so that we shut them the fuck out of where the hell they fucking came from, do they? Maybe they should all consider what the hell we're looking for and, regardless of whether or not it would be so otherwise, make it so! But not so, I know! They're all too fucking stupid and have way too much fucking pride for that shit!"

"You Satans are pathetic beyond words and really fucking foolish, too!" Soto growled, in addition to how Gloria stated: "Maybe if you smartened up a bit, you'd know better than to choose what kind of fights you've chosen and act as if you know what the outcome will be before it's even started!"

"Well said, Gloria!" Rita told her, and then Tiger said: "And well done, Diego! You echoed my fucking fight with that motherfucker Maul, in only too many fucking respects! It's one of the many fucking reasons that I can fucking relate to a guy like you!"

"My thanks, Tiger," Diego told him, "and I think that I just realized that, in getting back enough breath and energy to show my sharp, hateful nastiness towards these literal devils, I have regained enough energy so that I can goddamn get up again and come the fuck over to where the hell you guys are and in the process become nice and distant from these idiotic, insufferable hell's Satans here!"

"GREAT TO HEAR!" the ones who he walked up to after their telling him that said in unison, and just after Diego was where they were and specifically right next to Soto, his energy was now spent again, well, for the time being, anyway, and so he lay down on his stomach.

"Nice job again, Diego. Excellent job killing Yu the fuck off. I may fucking hate how we're all shut the fuck out of universes of origin as much as you and the others do, but at least we have one another as far as those from where the hell we were created is fucking concerned, my brother." Soto told Diego.

"Well said, my brother." Diego said to Soto in response, and all of a sudden, he saw what he then fucking pointed the fuck out: "Holy shit! Yu's blood is mingling with Maul's, and Thrax's ashes are getting made into solid lumps by it as it floods into them! Talk about a triple sign of battles won with so much fucking effort on the parts of Soto, Tiger and myself!"

Everyone looked over and opened their eyes widely to see that this shit was indeed the fucking case.

"Whoa, how about that?" Rita said. "Ironically, despite how I wasn't goddamn going to fucking kill Gloria here after I fucking beat her for obvious reasons, my triumph wasn't just all but impossible to pull off, as well, but it was, unlike the ones you guys had, a battle that I either won in the way I did or didn't win at all. You might or might not have triumphed in a different way against your respective foes, it's true, but it was unquestionable that if I tried to beat Gloria in any fucking way but the damn one that I did, I'd be a saluki flavored pancake now."

Gloria, Tiger, Soto and Diego all burst out laughing, and Rita then got mad, snapping at them: "Oh, you all fucking think that's fucking funny, do you? Well, Gloria, maybe I should just sweep my fucking tail across your beach ball of a belly again and claw you boys across the noses after she's fallen the fuck down real damn hard on her fat ass! Would you still be finding the idea of me being flattened a fucking hoot after that?"

"We're…we're sorry, Rita…" Gloria said, trying to make it so that she could contain her laughter and get herself back to normal, though it proved hard and, try though they did, as well, it proved even harder for the boys.

"We know we shouldn't…be…be laughing…" Tiger squeezed out, "but…the idea…of you in that state…even for hardcore guys like me, Diego and Soto…it's just too…too…!"

They managed to stop laughing after a few minutes of struggling, and then Rita sighed and rolled her eyes while saying: "That's better. Honestly, the way that some things that just shouldn't be treated as being funny are often treated as being HILARIOUS. UUUGGHHH."

"I think it's safe to say that the thing we'd like to do the most right now, and were going to do, anyway, after this fight was over like it now is with, sigh, Diego as the victor, is look into our next two universes and choose our battle opponents in the process." said the Mulan universe Satan, while the others all said at once: "No argument here." and select what universes and which individuals they'd, well, select for what clash was to follow/succeed this one they did upon how the hell they goddamn got the fuck to work on the spot.

THE END OF THE FOURTH EPISODE

Did you get a charge out of this one(I sure hope so!)?

Yes, I did NOT lowball Diego or any of that other shit, just like I fucking said I wouldn't.

I used him to the best of his abilities with no inconsistency, and I can tell when he's being used at his peak in every way, strength, speed, agility, skill, leaping ability, intelligence and all other strengths he's got, having seen the entire Ice Age trilogy.

Now, this doesn't negate Shan Yu's power or skills, nor the fact that he's got that sword and knows how to use it, so I did not make it easy for Diego and indeed did not give the saber an easy victory, but I made it so that he just barely managed to come out on top.

Further, Diego is NEVER one to back down and will most certainly NOT bow to anyone when portrayed as his full, true self, no matter what, so the song "Won't Back Down" by Fuel was perfect to use the final chorus of for the end of his battle with Shan Yu, particularly given the fact that he was indeed giving Shan Yu hell in what were his final moments for real, what with how the hell his second death would be permanent and it is, and thus was very obviously bringing him that hell.

Okay, so although I'll, given a sudden escalation in what other work I've got to do in my now resumed schedule, have to put this on hold for a while, the next episode of all of this will be one about a Mortal Kombat and Tekken crossover, in which Tanya battles Nina Williams!

Neither is trustworthy and both have done plenty of sneaky, underhanded and treacherous things, it's true, but be that as it may, one would wonder which one is more competent with catching off guard kind of crap and therefore the more clever one who can use her guile better than the other, it being what the hell will help her win along with all of her other talents, both mental and physical.

We'll just have to see things for ourselves whenever the hell I post the next fucking episode, which I of course will promptly do when I see a chance for it, now won't we?

So, as I do believe you can tell and have already guessed, this is being done because the Satans want a villain against villain, or in this case, villainess against villainess, clash and mean to make it so that whoever wins will be able to drop the victorious but worn down animals one by one, if they have not regained enough power to fight back by then, or, alternatively, don't get the chance to fight back despite how they've sufficiently recovered to do so.

But whichever fucking one of them wins, we'd best keep our fingers crossed for the heroes, since it is possible that they can survive what is to come, but it's just as possible that either Tanya or Nina will kill them after her victory.

Anyhow, it's only too blatant that the Satans now just want a triumph for one evildoer or the other and a means to see the ones they are furious at for winning their fights have their lives cut short…but whether or not the latter happens is, as I've made plenty clear, in question.

Suspenseful, isn't it?

Especially since I can't do that episode until much later on, so this is going to be one hell of a cliffhanger despite how you didn't find out about that until just now.

But for now, ratings and reviews for this finished fourth one of the episodes, if you please!


End file.
